How to Write a Letter to a Friend of the Opposite Sex

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Eligible to be a love interest for you can be awkward and intimidating. You only feel friendship and want to develop and continue your relationship with a good friend as a friend, but you don't want to drop any hints at romantic interest, nor do you want to encourage any. You can maintain a platonic friendship by writing fun, interesting letters that don't leave any room for ambiguity.

Steps

1. Use a casual greeting. Obviously, this is not a letter that should be started with "My Dearest Robert:" Instead, try, "Hey, Rob --" or "Rob - what's happening?".
2. Be friendly. Don't resort to stiff, formal (boring) stuff. Think about it as if your friend was right there with you and just "talk" to him/her.
3. Fill him or her in on the details of your life. Your friend shouldn't have to guess at what's going on with you, while sitting reading your letter or email. If you really want to stay involved in one another's lives, you will need to share some of what's going on. It may be a little longer than a paragraph or two, but it'll be a better letter in the end.
4. Share your highs and your lows. Just as you would if your friend were there with you, share stories with him or her about your day. If you had a lousy day, saying something like, "... So that was my crummy day. I hope yours was better - to tell you the truth, now that I've told you about mine, I do feel better. Thanks for being a good pal and letting me vent." If you had a great day, how about, "... the only thing missing was being able to see you and celebrate together! Oh, I wish you'd been here, it would have been so great to share this with you. But at least we have email, huh?"
5. Keep it real. You don't need to add a lot of drama. Just stay focused on one or two incidents or events - your pal doesn't need to have all the intimate details of your life.
6. Do let him/her know if you've met someone special. One sure way to create an awkward moment is for you to keep a new romance from your friend. Let him or her know that you're going on a date, or that you had one that was successful and hope this one will be a keeper. Not only does it keep your friend in the loop of your life, but it also cements the notion that you are friends and only that.
7. Sign off with a friendly farewell. Don't gush or get overly sentimental, even if you are really missing your friend - keep it positive and light. "Miss you, buddy," is great. Or "XOXO," even, but just make sure you don't add a bunch of mushy love stuff or else your pal could get the wrong idea.

Tips

• If you're corresponding via email, review before you send. Many a mishap has happened between "TTYL" and send.
• If you're corresponding via snail mail, and if this relationship is very sensitive in terms of the way your friend may perceive any little indication that you may feel more than friendship, consider typing it. It really is less personal than writing it in longhand - there's just something very romantic about receiving a personal letter in the mail.
• That said, however, if your friendship is solid, receiving a handwritten letter in your very own longhand can be so comforting and can really bring a sense of "you" home to your friend. Your scent on the mail, your seal on the letter, whatever you do to make it personal, warm and friendly, it will be more so when received in your own writing.

Warnings

• Do not create any ambiguity. If you feel friendship only, do not ever allude to any other relationship between you even being possible. Saying things like, "We should have hooked up instead of who we ended up with LOL" puts a dangerous seed of hope in your friend's mind and will end up compromising the relationship in the end.
• Squelch any such slips your friend may make kindly, but immediately. If you receive a note containing a comment like the one above, your best bet would be to treat it lightly, but with an unmistakable "no." Example: "Oh, if we ever had hooked up, we'd have killed each other. It's so much better just being friends with you, and I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything."

Things You'll Need

• Letter paper and pen or email

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